Let’s think about how this happens as ABC

1. Activating Event

2. Beliefs – Dysfunctional

3. Consequences – Behavioural

Since your brain moves quickly and processes information automatically, often below your awareness, you might think that an Activating Event directly causes you experience or do certain behaviours.

But between the Event and the Response, your brain is (often automatically) thinking and feeling.

It can be really helpful to start noticing the tiny gap between when things happen and when you respond. And, over time, try to stretch and lengthen this gap so that your behaviour and responses are not reactive, but more deliberate.

When you can slow this process down, you can start to make choices about what behaviours or responses you will make. This is important since many of our responses can be related to unhelpful or dysfunctional thinking or to emotions that produce unwanted reactions.

For example, someone might say something to you that makes you feel inferior or incompetent. In that instant, you feel yourself become tense and some familiar feelings arise. Thoughts, reasons and ideas quickly follow and you become stuck in your responses.

What you can do

Begin to build awareness of this chain of response.

Notice when you respond to things/people in a tense, reactive manner.

Take a breath — with practice, you can slow down this process so that you can make choices (about how you really want to think, feel and behave).