Anxiety is normal and natural – but many things we do can keep it going and growing.

How you think about your anxiety can determine whether anxiety will lessen or become more persistent.

Understanding this principle will help you manage anxiety better.

Anxiety keeps on going when people consistently think that:

• The situations they face are threatening and overpowering
• They do not have the resources (skills and abilities) to manage these situations

For example, consider a person who is going to meet a group of people for the first time.

Her thinking might be about feeling threatened:

I am not as good as these people – “All of these people will be looking at me and judging me” “ They will notice that my clothes are not right” “They might talk about me and laugh to each other”

I can’t talk easily to other people and I’ll never be comfortable in big groups – “I’ll say the wrong thing” “People won’t want to talk to me” “I’ll be left standing out on my own” “I’m so anxious that I can’t talk properly”

And her thinking might be about feeling helpless or vulnerable:

It would be easier and practical to avoid social groups like this – “If I keep away from these types of events, I won’t have to feel this anxiety” “I’ll be able to function better if I only go out with my family/friends” “I can do other things instead of joining this group”

I feel so anxious that this must a bad idea – “Some people just don’t do well in groups” “I am someone who likes to talk to only 2-3 people at once” “If I keep going to these functions I will make a fool of myself – and I don’t need to do that”.

Thinking this way means that the mind is focused on getting to safety – this response consumes so much attention and energy that we are generally unable to process anything other than the threatening ideas.

What you can do

Try to see your anxiety as an uncomfortable but not threatening state.

Accept that you will feel anxiety in some situations.

Notice your thinking and what your mind is telling you.

Breathe deeply and calmly.