What I am noticing this week

I’m noticing how hard it is to fix things.

I’m seeing so many different ways we fight against problem thinking and feeling. And people talk about how exhausting it is and how tired they are of trying to deal with these thoughts and feelings.

People desperately want to control what is happening inside their head.

To fix it. To get rid of it. To make it go away.

There are endless ways that people use to try to control things inside their head:

• Some people argue inside their head. They analyze and rationalise and make intellectual arguments. They evaluate.
• Some people look around them: they blame themselves, they blame others, they blame the situation, they blame their childhood.
• Some people do things: they yell at others, refuse to do what others want, they get angry or become passive.
• Some people don’t do things: they keep away from things and people that trigger unpleasant feelings or they find it hard to focus or concentrate.
• Some people cover up: they drink or eat a lot, or spend a lot of time either working, exercising or doing something to occupy their mind.

What would happen if you stopped fighting?

What would happen if you stepped back and started to notice what sort of fighting you are doing?

And whether or not it helps?

Could the struggle for control possibly make things worse?

 What you can do

When there is a lot of thinking and feeling going on inside your head, and you want it all to go away, just stop.

Stop whatever you are doing, and take five long, slow deep breaths. Notice the thinking words. Notice the feelings.

Breathe through them. Breathe around them. Breathe slowly with them.