Notice how the way you think affects your feelings and behaviour:

Situation: Person A loses his job (i.e., made redundant)

Thought: “I’ll never be able to get another job”

Feeling: Shocked, afraid, scared

Behaviour: May not proactively look for work, withdraws into herself

Situation: Person B loses his job (i.e., made redundant)

Thought: “I’m so pleased that I can finally move on from here”

Feeling: Excited, happy

Behaviour: Uses alternative ideas and initiates new activities

Situation: Person C loses his job (i.e., made redundant)

Thought: “I don’t know what to do - but I have skills and I’m good at my job”

Feeling: Scared, excited

Behaviour: Makes plans, contacts others, learns new skills

Situation: Person D loses his job (i.e., made redundant)

Thought: “Things never go well for me - I’ll never make it in this world”

Feeling: Sad, demotivated, resigned

Behaviour: Withdraws into herself, does not participate in activities (work or play)

Some of these thoughts and feelings may be practiced or automatic reactions.  You may have been in similar situations before or spent time thinking about how you might react to this situation. You don’t need to stay with these thoughts and feelings. But to change them, you first need to be aware of them. And to know the difference between what you feel and what you think.

What you can do

Notice what you are feeling. Can you name the feeling? Ask yourself: “What is my mind telling me?” “What am I thinking?”