Who’s that talking to you?
If you are creative, have a good imagination and like to think a lot, then chances are you have lots of mind chatter. That’s the thinking that constantly tells you things like what you ‘should’ have done, what you ‘shouldn’t do,’ what you ‘can’t’ do, what you’ll ‘never be good at,’ what ‘everyone else can do better than you’ and why ‘you’ll never be good enough.’
We call these thoughts Negative Automatic Thoughts (NATs), and they are the normal output from a busy, problem-solving and socially aware brain. Unfortunately, since they are thoughts that you have probably had many times before, they have been automated in your brain — therefore they require no conscious input or cognitive energy from you.
Here are a few ideas to help you tone down this mind chatter.
- Be aware
Try to step back from your thinking and notice what your mind is telling you. Be still and calm in your awareness, and watch rather than be ‘caught up’ in your thinking. See if you can see your thoughts as things that come and go and are moving rather than things that just hang around.
- Name the talker
If you can name it, you have a better chance to ‘tame’ it. Who is this part of you that needs to remind you about so many things that aren’t right? Can you use your imagination to give this constant complainer an identity?
Maybe try to see this voice as a non-stop talking green parrot? An orange, furry Muppet? A grumpy baby tiger that has grown too big? A chattering monkey? You can even give it a name, since it’s likely to hang around a bit. Or simply label it — say to yourself, “Thinking, thinking.”
- Talk back
Generally, the purpose of your mind chatter is to keep you safe. You mind is constantly thinking of ways to keep you safe from scary challenges, danger and things that may have been difficult for you in the past.
Rather than fighting against it or running away from it, maybe you can ask your ‘chattering mind’ what it really needs at this moment. In asking this question, you are acknowledging that you need something and will make room in your mind to hear the answer.
What you can do
Notice your thinking.
Label your talker.
Ask it gently what it wants you to do.